5/2/13 18:58
I’ve been out of school for a week now.
Gallatin’s the exact same.
I’m tired of it.
I’m ready to go back to school honestly.
I’m ready for next semester to start.
I’m depressed, or at least on the verge of it.
I can’t find a job.
I can’t find someone to care for me.
I can’t find happiness.
Fuck wishful thinking
You know, maybe I’m being brash or maybe I just need to calm down, or something but literally fucking wishful thinking. I hate that I’m so damn worrisome all the time. I can’t let anything just happen. I’m always waiting for something to go wrong or looking for something bad. And maybe I’m right, maybe everything I think is happening really is, but you know what. Nevermind, just fuck it. I just want someone to want me for me. That’s all.
I always fuck shit up. I fuck up friendships, I fuck up relationships. I just ruin everything and I hate it. I’m a horrible person and I just don’t feel like doing it anymore. I’m not suicidal at all but I just hate life right now, just all of it.
ARJr
The Models Project
Manuel Clavel Architects | Panteón Nube, 2010 Murcia
Photos by David Frutos
“Inside we find a cloud that gets crossed by sunbeams: an atmospheric situation that can be found in the nature and that, linked to our cultural references of the
Divine, stimulate our spiritual side.That moment gets crystallized in the abstraction of the white cloud, the end of a way that, starting from the basement ascends to the intermediate platform and goes on until the cloud’s space, where our sight gets lost in the abstract and unreal atmosphere that fills the place.”
1/6/13 4:25
I’m back in Chattanooga now.
It’s kind of strange being back honestly.
I feel comfortable but empty.
I don’t feel like anyone I know is here.
I feel kind of alone.
I feel weird about my classes as well.
Everything just feels weird.
Maybe being out tomorrow will help with that.
Who knows.
I can’t sleep.
