I’ve been out of school for a week now.
Gallatin’s the exact same.
I’m tired of it.
I’m ready to go back to school honestly.
I’m ready for next semester to start.
I’m depressed, or at least on the verge of it.
I can’t find a job.
I can’t find someone to care for me.
I can’t find happiness.
Fuck wishful thinking
You know, maybe I’m being brash or maybe I just need to calm down, or something but literally fucking wishful thinking. I hate that I’m so damn worrisome all the time. I can’t let anything just happen. I’m always waiting for something to go wrong or looking for something bad. And maybe I’m right, maybe everything I think is happening really is, but you know what. Nevermind, just fuck it. I just want someone to want me for me. That’s all.
I always fuck shit up. I fuck up friendships, I fuck up relationships. I just ruin everything and I hate it. I’m a horrible person and I just don’t feel like doing it anymore. I’m not suicidal at all but I just hate life right now, just all of it.
I’m back in Chattanooga now.
It’s kind of strange being back honestly.
I feel comfortable but empty.
I don’t feel like anyone I know is here.
I feel kind of alone.
I feel weird about my classes as well.
Everything just feels weird.
Maybe being out tomorrow will help with that.
I can’t sleep.